One of the first books I ever read on emotional intelligence was “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. People often think of this book as old fashioned, probably overly “americanised” and not relevant.
This is not the case. It still very relevant to today, so long as you update the anecdotes in your mind… they are quite quaint to say the least!
I came across a similar tome this week, on my internet searchings. It was from another rather old book, “The Power of Positive Thinking” – whilst there is a little more references to a “higher power” than I would normally go for, there was still a fair bit in it.
Here are Peale’s thoughts around encouraging people to engage with you…
- Remember names. “Inefficiency at this point may indicate that your interest is not sufficiently outgoing. A man’s name is very important to him.”
- Be a comfortable, easy-going person so there is no hassle involved with being with you.
- “Acquire the quality of relaxed easy-goingness so that things do not ruffle you.”
- Avoid egotism and coming off as a know-it-all. “Be natural and normally humble.”
- “Cultivate the quality of being interesting so that people will want to be with you and get something of stimulating value from their association with you.”
- Do an analysis of the unlikable aspects of your personality including those that may escape your consciousness.
- Wholeheartedly attempt to make right every misunderstanding you have or once had.
- Practice liking others until it becomes your genuine style of living.
- “Never miss an opportunity to say a word of congratulation upon anyone’s achievement, or express sympathy in sorrow or disappointment.”
- Gain a deep-seated sense of spiritual experience so that you‘ll be able to give strength to others. They, in turn, will give affection back to you.
Not sure how many I tick the box on, but certainly something to aspire to!